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How Life Has Fallen Apart Since Keeping Up With the Kardashians has Announced its Ending

Keeping Up With the Kardashians said ABCDEFG I have to go.

The world is on fire. Not in the Backstreet Boys “I Want it That Way” sense. Not in the Covid sense. Because of the protests? No. The riots? No. That’s right because of the U.S. political election. Hah, no. Oh because of the fires all across the western United States? No, no not this. It’s because of an Instagram post on September 9, 2020 posted by user “kimkardashian” that stated:

“It is with heavy hearts that we’ve made the difficult decision as a family to say goodbye to Keeping Up With the Kardashians. After what will be 14 years, 20 seasons, hundreds of episodes and numerous spin-off shows, we are beyond grateful to all of you who’ve watched us for all of these years — through the good times, the bad times, the happiness, the tears, and the many relationships and children. We’ll forever cherish the wonderful memories and countless people we’ve met along the way. …Our last season will air early next year in 2021.”

instagram.com/kimkardashian

We all thought Kanye had the biggest mic drop at the September 2009 VMAs, but almost to the day 11 years later Kim has truly taken the mic, gone up 50 flights, and let that mic go. One second you’re scrolling on Instagram, the next second you’re Googling local therapists and their immediate availability.

via wndu.com

Keeping Up With the Kardashians is a constant in many young people’s lives. Even if you didn’t watch it you had the security knowing it was on TV. That it wasn’t just another show that would be around for a bit and leave. Kris Jenner was all of our momagers. We watched Kendall and Kylie grow up. We watched Khloe turn WWE sessions with her sisters into training sessions with Gunnar Peterson. We watched Kim cry over a diamond in the ocean. Some of the greatest lines in television history were given by Scott Disick. When the Kardashians took their trip to Aspen, we all went to Aspen. Keeping Up With the Kardashians was something that would not go away: it wasn’t MySpace, it wasn’t Keek, it wasn’t Vine. It was the neighbors next door…. far, far away in the very rich neighborhood that you would never know or absolutely never come in contact with. But E! television gave us that opportunity. Ryan Seacrest gave us that. Keeping Up With the Kardashians was one of the few things that has lasted longer than an uneaten McDonald’s hamburger and fries.

via eonline.com

So now what? How will we know if the Kardashians still eat salads out of plastic bowls or what if they switch to exclusively glass? How will we know the latest new cool phrase Kourtney is saying? Who will we keep up with? I can’t answer that yet. Thankfully we have one more season to look forward to. Until then, I have found myself watching their Instagram stories since the announcement, which makes my engagement rate with their accounts go up by 100%. Did I take extra long looking at the KKW section at Ulta today? Also, yes. Is this how I’m coping? Am I fine? I don’t know. If you see me organizing Oreos in a glass container and randomly yelling “Liar!” and constantly refreshing the Kardashian/Jenner accounts for new 15 seconds snippets until it’s been 45 minutes, it’s fine.

via wave3.com

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Keeping Up With the Accents

Someone please call The Academy.

There is a hierarchy of accents, each varying in difficulty. We have on the first tier, the pretty easy accents: The British, Irish, American Southern. All can be done quite easily after watching any of the Harry Potter films or an episode of Housewives. The next tier is more difficult and requires practice and potentially some Youtube tutorial videos: Australian, New Zealand. Adding in words likes “heaps” and rising inflections at the end of sentences will help aid in this endeavor.

Last is the most difficult accent of all. Yet, if mastered, may get you into any club, help skyrocket your career, or will make you want to eat gluten free, vegan, and hate candy, and may be the most coveted accent of all: the Kourtney Kardashian accent. This accent is so fine-tuned and unique that only a few can do it. And it has become an absolute fascination and part-time hobby to watch anyone use the accent all the while questioning if they have some secret footage of Kourtney K. audio they’re synching to. There’s talent, and then there’s doing a Kourtney K. accent. 

Andrea Lopez is actually so talented she may actually in fact be Kourtney Kardashian in disguise. She is truly queen status on the Kourtney K. accent and at this point could teach a Makeup by Mario masterclass on the Kourtney K. voice. This is a request to E! network to please include her on next season of the ‘Kardashians’. It really is a win-win. If Kourtney doesn’t want to be on the show anymore, no worries Andrea Lop… Kourtney is here. Talking about Poosh, helping Kim do prank calls, the possibilities are endless. Just a small request but with momager Kris J. it’s totally feasible. There’s more than one Kourtney K. in this world and aren’t we glad about it.

Photo credit: Newsweek

Video credit: andrealopezcomedy

Kourtney’s website: Poosh.com

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