You walk into the gas station. You want some chips. You browse the aisle. These are your options: Cheetos, Takis, Salt and Vinegar potato chips, Pringles, Doritos Nachos, Sun Chips, Doritos Cool Ranch, Fritos, and Funyuns. You think all this says about you is what you’re craving at the moment and what you like? Wrong. This determines your Harry Potter house. For 7 years. Are you going to end up at the Great Hall table with Draco? Will you end up Wingardium Leviosaing with Hermione? Let your chip choice decide.
Cheetos or Doritos Nachos
If you chose Cheetos or Doritos Nachos, congratulations. You are a Gryffindor. Gryffindor’s are noted for their bravery, courage, and determination. Look. If you eat a bag of Cheetos or Doritos Nachos you’re not getting out of there without orange fingers. It’s just a fact. And it’s also the gift that keeps giving once your bag is finished. You like a good chip, but you also have come to terms with that it’s going to be a bit messy and you’re fine with it. You can take on the task. Mischief managed. It’s a sheer act of bravery. These are two solid classics, and you’re brave enough for the mess.
Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips or Doritos Cool Ranch
If you chose Salt and Vinegar potato chips or Doritos Cool Ranch, congratulations, you are a Ravenclaw! Ravenclaws are noted for their wisdom, wit, and intellect. Okay look. If you’re choosing Salt and Vinegar as your chip choice you’re not an every man. You have ~refined~ taste. You probably watch cooking shows and prefer your hamburger buns toasted. You’re not just grabbing a bag and going with no sense or purpose or order. No. Your tastes are precise and unique. They are complex and thought-out. Although Doritos Cool Ranch is a classic, it is also a very unique chip choice that when you think of it is totally unique. Cheese chips? There’s 50 of those. Find a chip that tastes nothing but everything like ranch with also little pieces that strangely like small pieces of confetti but you shrug and eat them anyway. Yeah there’s only one.
Sun Chips or Pringles
If you chose Sun Chips or Pringles, congratulations, you are a Hufflepuff. Hufflepuffs are noted for their dedication, patience, and loyalty. No one chooses Sun Chips unless you are a loyal fan to them. No one. But those who like them love them. Pringles come in a full can and no one but the most determined can make it through a whole can. Hufflepuffs are generally thought of as like-able, so Pringles are also a perfect chip to share with others and your friends.You can also make chip duck faces with them, so do Hufflepuffs have more fun?
Takis or Fritos
If you chose Takis or Fritos you already know what house you are in. It doesn’t have to be said. Hello Slytherin. Slytherin are known for their ambition, cleverness, and cunning. Let’s take the mess of Cheetos and light it on fire and you have yourself it’s dark cousin: Takis. Gryffindor and Slytherins are actually quite similar, but here is the important distinction: Takis will destroy you and your life. Any mess a Cheeto made, Takis will make 5 times worse. Takis red color will dye your fingers. There’s no hiding if you ate them. And on top of their appearance they are spicy. You make it through a bag of Takis you just did an unofficial audition for Fear Factor. You even rub your eye for one second and you might have to take a trip to the E.R. Congratulations. Your car ride and bag of chips has to make a detour. You don’t care. It’s a challenge you are willing take. If you chose Fritos you knew exactly what you were choosing: violence. Fritos seem sweet. They seem innocent. But you eat a bag and boom comes out the cunning. Your mouth will be ripped to shreds.
Funyuns
If you chose Funyuns you are a dementor.
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