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A Guide To College Partying During Covid

As we all know college students are known for their cooperation. Unfortunately, as college classes have picked back up for the fall semester, Covid is still one of the top 5 most commonly spread viruses amongst the 18-23 year old demographic on college campuses across the nation. Fortunately, I have put together a quick guide to College Partying During Coronavirus and how you can make the best of this situation.

First up on the list for what to do! Don’t party during Covid. I know it seems really strict and hard to follow because most college students don’t have personalities when they’re not at a party. But this is a great opportunity to go out and get one! This is the time to expand your vocabulary beyond the words “bet” and “facts”. Stop calling the dirt on your Converse “character” when it’s made up of dirt and vomit from nights you spent recording everything on Snapchat. Partying during a pandemic is not a priority (wow, killed that alliteration). Now, while it may not kill you, it’s still a rather uncomfortable virus to contract.

Most college parties don’t end well anyway. It’s fun for like 10 minutes and then Gabe comes in with like 8 of his boys, who are all wearing throwback NBA jerseys from a time period when they weren’t even alive yet. All you’re going to do at a party is hang out with your group of friends and talk about how cute the other person across the room is and then not do anything about it. Or there’s always an issue with whoever is on aux playing “Mo Bamba” for the 6th time. There’s just so much more out there.

good vibes
via unsplash.com

Plus, there’s too many of the same person in college and a ton of opportunities for you to grow. I don’t mean to sound corny or enlightening, but it’s true. College parties aren’t all that great for your mental health anyway. Have you ever been rejected in a crowded 2×2 bedroom? That’s the most awkward thing ever, the person who rejected you is in the kitchen and you’re in the living room watching Bryce make a Tik Tok? Just hype him up! That way it looks like that rejection isn’t even on your mind but in reality, you’re wondering, maybe if you had a better nose life would be different…just maybe.

I get it, being in college is the first time in your life where you’re actually free. Completely free from your parents, you have no curfew and you can do whatever you want. But that’s why it’s important to be smart about what’s going on. If this gets worse, guess where you’re going to end back up. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, it’s better to have FOMO than Covid. So, just chill out. Watch some Netflix, do some sit ups so you don’t get the Quarantine 15 and this thing will be over in no time (nervous laugh).


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Dude Breaks Mirror, Gets 7 More Years of 2020

In what would be the year 2023, Franz is starting to feel like he might be responsible for what can only be described as “the third 2020 in a row.”

“I’ve never been superstitious,” he said, “but after 3 pandemics in a row, I’m starting to think it’s because I broke that mirror in 2019.”

Franz started to notice some things were off when he saw several events of 2020 repeating themselves in consecutive years. “When President Trump killed that Iranian general Qasem Soleimani the first time I was like, ‘Woah, I can’t pronounce that name.’ The second time I was like, ‘Dang, that sounds familiar,’ but by the third time I was 60% convinced it had already happened.”

After Soleimani’s death, other events started repeating. “Every summer, people started talking about murder hornets and everyone was in lockdown making sourdough bread, and then Facebook radicalized everybody’s uncles…Correct me if I’m wrong, but Presidential elections aren’t supposed to happen every year, right?”

The only thing sadder than repeating the same year over and over again is Franz’s inability to go more than a few weeks without breaking at least one mirror. “I’ve broken 27 mirrors over  the past 3 cycles of 2020…at this rate I’ll be here for eternity,” he said, “but at least I’ve got Tiger King to look forward to again.”


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Things the Percy Jackson TV Show Should and Shouldn’t Do If It Wants to Succeed

Fans of Greek mythology and young adult fiction rejoice! Earlier this year, Rick Riordan, author of the widely successful Percy Jackson and the Olympians novels, announced that Disney is going to produce another live-action adaptation of his books in the form of a TV series on Disney Plus. This news was met with elation from fans, as readers of the Percy Jackson series are still reeling from the atrocious film adaptations that 20th Century Fox produced in 2010 and 2013. Since Disney acquired 20th Century Fox back in March of 2019, they now have free license to use any of the properties that Fox owned in the past. This makes a Percy Jackson TV series into a perfect opportunity for the house of mouse. Not only would it beef up the amount of original content on their streaming platform, but it would also drive in new subscriptions from those that read the books in the past and have avoided signing up for Disney Plus up to this point. This will only work however if Disney makes the Percy Jackson series right, and there are a number of ways to accomplish that. There are also some very important things to avoid with this series so that it doesn’t become just another failure like the movie adaptation. We’re gonna discuss these do’s and don’ts below, and hopefully Disney will make the Percy Jackson series into everything the fans could ever ask for.

Do: Stay loyal to the source material

One of the biggest faults of the two Percy Jackson movies was how it more or less disregarded the books completely. Among the many egregious differences between the story of the books and the movies, some include: Percy being 17 in the movies when he’s only 12 in the books, pivotal characters like Ares being almost completely absent from the first movie, and the entire plotline of Kronos’ resurrection being condensed into one film when it took until the last books in the series. With these examples, it’s clear that the bar is set pretty low for Disney’s adaptation. All they need to do is stick to Rick Riordan’s writing and they can’t go wrong. 

Don’t: Use too much CGI

Something that the Percy Jackson TV series should stay away from is an overabundance of CGI. This is not to say that using CGI effects at all is a bad thing, they have proved to be a revolutionary tool in filmmaking for quite some time now. At the same time however, we can all think of a movie or TV show that used such distracting computer effects that it took away from the overall feeling of what we are trying to watch, and the Percy Jackson series will have to avoid that to keep the attention of fans. Now there is the issue that with a show centered around Greek mythology, it would be pretty difficult and expensive to make practical creatures such as the Minotaur, but Disney already has some experience using more practical effects for its original series. The Mandalorian has been a shining example of what happens when a studio places a focus on practical effects when possible and uses computer effects as sparingly as they can. One particular innovation that Disney used for The Mandalorian that the Percy Jackson series should take advantage of is the new “Stagecraft” technology. This new filmmaking tool is essentially a big wall of LED lights that acts as a projector of sorts for any kind of environment that a director may want to use. It eliminates the need for costly sets, and it makes the world around the characters seem more natural than that of a green screen. If the Percy Jackson series were to use this technology it would make for some incredibly breathtaking environments, especially for scenes that take place in the Underworld or Olympus. 

Do: Keep the show accessible

If the Percy Jackson series is going to be an all-around success, it’s going to have to perform a bit of a tightrope walk with its overall tone. This show is going to be in a bit of a weird place as far as its audience is concerned, because although the books are meant for an audience of roughly middle school and high school age, the vast majority of the fanbase is somewhere in their early twenties now. It sort of has a Harry Potter effect to it all; the Percy Jackson books were first published about fifteen years ago, so the people that grew up with the series when they were in grade school are now in college or preparing to graduate from college. This presents an interesting challenge for Disney for how they want the show to proceed. They could go with a more child friendly, almost Disney Channel, feel to the show, but this would likely alienate the older Percy Jackson fanbase. On the flipside, if they were to make the show too mature it would run the risk of being inaccessible to a younger audience that may just be getting into the books. In order to succeed, the Percy Jackson series is going to have to strike a balance between these two things much like the Marvel movies do. The one thing that makes the Marvel movies so popular is how they are entertaining and engaging for older, die-hard fans and younger newcomers alike. And with Disney’s experience in finding this balance with the Marvel movies, there’s no reason the Percy Jackson series can’t do the same. 

Don’t: Rush through the story

For the Percy Jackson series to be truly successful, it’s going to have to take its time. This time around the producers of this series aren’t limited to the roughly two hour time frame of most movies, so they can take as many episodes and seasons as they need to tell this story, and they should use that to their advantage. Now as far as Disney Plus is concerned, Disney hasn’t exactly produced any original series that are longer than about ten episodes a season. This is where Disney would have to take a bit of a risk, because just ten episodes would not be nearly enough time to tell the story of the Percy Jackson books. In order to allow each character to get as much development as possible and to make sure that plotlines aren’t rushed, Disney should adopt a structure similar to that of the many CW series, like Arrow and Supernatural. These series have episodes that are about forty-five minutes long, and each season consists of between fifteen and twenty episodes. This would work perfectly for the Percy Jackson series because not only would the forty-five minute structure ensure that each of the main characters gets the appropriate amount of screen time, but each of the books in the first Percy Jackson series are about twenty chapters long. This would allow each episode to be a chapter, and each season to be one whole book. Using a structure like this would help to prevent the Percy Jackson show from becoming just like the Percy Jackson movies because they wouldn’t have to do a full sprint through the story. Disney would be able to do what anyone else does when reading a book and take the series one chapter at a time.

With the Disney Percy Jackson series on the way, and a Kane Chronicles movie series apparently in the works at Netflix, it’s never been a more exciting time to be a fan of Rick Riordan’s writing. Here’s hoping that both companies are able to stick the landing and deliver an experience that fans have been waiting for. What are you most excited to see in the Percy Jackson TV show? Let us know in the comments below and for more news on pop culture and everything entertainment, check back here at its-bananas.com.


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Movie Sequels That Should Not Exist

Making a sequel to an already amazing film can be tricky. It’s either going to be a hit or a miss, and as the viewer, you’re either gonna love it or despise it with every cell in your body. Some sequels are awesome such as Frozen II and Spider-Man 2, but there are films that we really could have gone without. Here’s a list of those movies just so you can avoid them in the future:

  1. Mean Girls 2 – Why? No seriously, why is this a thing? I will never understand why producers make sequels without the original cast. There are plenty of mean girls in the world, but there is no mean girl quite like Regina George. More importantly, where is Aaron Samuels? You can’t use the same mean girls trope for both movies, especially when the first attempt was spot on.
  2. Grease 2 – Okay, let’s be real. If you say you prefer Grease 2 over the original Grease, you’re lying to yourself. How can any of the songs amount to “Summer Nights” and “You’re The One I Want”? I’ll tell you: they can’t. Olivia Newton-John’s voice cannot be topped. And aside from the most obvious couple that’s missing from the movie, where is the best character of the entire movie, Rizzo? We were just starting to appreciate her character development! I can’t just move on from that. Well, at least the second movie has Frenchy, even if it is a brief appearance.
  3. Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar – A swing and a miss. Let us have the happy ending we deserve without having to worry about a certain villain with an awful goatee and eyeliner better than my own.
  4. Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World – Disney decided to side with history with this one, but come on. After making us all ship Pocahontas and John Smith? What happened to appreciating forbidden love? That’s just cruel, Disney. If you’re going to veer off script in terms of historical accuracy for the first movie, you might as well own your mistake and leave it as that. 
  5. Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again – I would have really appreciated it if we didn’t go again because there shouldn’t be a follow up to an already perfect film. Let us use our imaginations! We don’t need to know about the next generation.
  6. Home Alone 3-5: Who are these children and why do they think they can ever be as iconic as Macaulay Culkin? Why mess with the perfect masterpiece that is the first Home Alone? And, okay, the second home alone isn’t as good, but compared to the rest of the movies, it’s Academy Award worthy. We don’t need 5 movies to know that 8 year olds are smarter than us adults. Let it go!
  7. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald: I loved the first movie, I really did, and I totally get that there was a cliffhanger at the end and a surprise appearance from Johnny Depp, but after watching the second movie, I think it’s best if we all agree that the only valid movie in this series is the first one. Eddie Redmayne is an awesome actor and perfectly captures Newt Scamander, but maybe it’s time to give the Harry Potter series a rest.
  8. Insurgent and Allegiant – I understand that the wildly popular book series deserves to be brought to the big screen, but why in this way? The trailers hook you in because they have perfect visuals, and they get your heart hammering in a delicious way…but the actual movies? There’s so much going on, so much packed into those 2 hours that it feels like a dump of random scenes strung together. It only makes your head spin. The books are so much better.
  9. Peter Pan 2: Return to Never Land – I don’t want to watch a movie about Wendy’s kid! That’s so depressing! It already takes me 3-5 business days to get over my feelings after watching the first movie, why would I want to hurt myself by watching the second? Also, Peter Pan really needs to do something else with free time instead of convincing mortal kids to come to Never Land with him. Why does he think he’s doing them a favor?
  10. Mulan 2 – Mulan was never a movie about romance, so why is that the theme for the second movie? I will never understand Disney’s obsession with marriage. Mulan is a soldier! She is a brave woman who took her father’s place when he was drafted for war. She saved China, for crying out loud, is that not enough of an achievement? Also, if you’re a fan of Li Shang you are not going to be happy with this movie.

If you insist on watching these movies, just don’t expect them to be blown away. Watch them when you’re feeling down so their horridness makes you laugh. That’s the only reason why I’d watch these movies anyway.


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