Everyone remembers their cliques in high school. You had the jocks, the nerds, and of course the goths. We can all think of at least one person from high school that fit into one of these categories, and some of those people might still embody their specific category to this day. But I have a question that I think we’ve all asked ourselves at least once, and that is what high school cliques would my favorite Star Wars character be in? What’s that? I’m the only one who has had this question? Well, at any rate, I’m going to answer this burning question anyway, and you can thank me later. Here’s what high school cliques your favorite characters from a galaxy far, far away would fall into.
Jocks: Han Solo and Mace Windu
When we think of the jock archetype, there are a number of different versions that come to mind. The most stereotypical jock is a burly meathead that spends more time playing football with his bros than he does participating in really any of his academic classes. They’re more interested in riding that athletics scholarship through college and into a professional sports career, where they’ll get paid more money than someone of their mental acuity should be trusted with. In some cases however, there is the jock with a heart of gold. Although they may seem rough and tough on the outside, deep down they’re really one of the mushiest guys in school. This mushy jock role is one that fits Han Solo perfectly. Yeah, Han is a bit rougher around the edges than most Star Wars characters, and I’m sure he’d love to shove Luke Skywalker’s head into a toilet, but when it comes down to it he cares about the people around him. His arrogant and selfish demeanor is just a front for a guy that is looking out for his team, and he’ll go through anyone that might serve as a potential risk to them.
Now on the other end of the jock spectrum, there are the jocks that have absolutely no issue using their strength and dominating personality to assert themselves. They know they’re the big man on campus, and they’ll go through anyone that might oppose them. If there was any Star Wars character that fell into this role perfectly, it would be Mace Windu. As one of the most revered members of the Jedi High Council, Mace Windu is basically the quarterback of the football team when it comes to the Jedi. Known for his no-nonsense attitude, he doesn’t have time for any weak links on his team, and he’ll be the first to tell you if you’re dragging the team down. He’s the type to shove you into a locker just for looking at you wrong, and he’s definitely given a padawan a swirly or two. I’m sure he would love to shove Anakin Skywalker’s head into a toilet, and for all we know he probably has.
Nerds: Luke Skywalker and Rey
The nerd clique is one that can be incredibly varied, as there are a lot of different things that might qualify someone as “nerdy”. You’ve got your comic book nerds, video game nerds, math nerds, and dozens of other nerd flavors. In the Star Wars universe there is a different kind of nerd that I’m going to call a “Force nerd”. These Force nerds are obsessed with learning about and understanding the ways of the Force, and they’ll grow to great lengths to strengthen their Force abilities. Two characters come to mind when thinking of this archetype, and they both have very similar relationships with the Force. Luke Skywalker and Rey both went down nearly identical paths when they were becoming Jedi. In Luke’s story, he started out as a moisture farmer that just wanted to play with his model T-16 Skyhopper (super nerdy) and go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters. But then out of nowhere he got embroiled in this huge civil war and started getting trained by this space wizard in this long-forgotten form of science. Luke is literally the type of nerd to abandon his closest friends because he has to study, just as he did in the Empire Strikes Back when he went to find Yoda so he could learn more about the Force. It’s okay though, because if it wasn’t for Luke Skywalker being such a massive nerd, then the galaxy would probably still be under the tyrannical rule of the Empire.
Rey has a lot of the same experiences as Luke when it comes to being a Force nerd, but for Rey, the Force seems to come a bit easier. She’s one of those nerds who, no matter how long it seems you studied for an exam, she always seems to get the right answer with little to no studying done at all. At the end of class she’s handing her test in with a smile on her face and a spring in her step, meanwhile you’re on question two out of twenty wondering who you wronged in a past life. Rey is such a Force nerd that she knows stuff about the Force that you’ve never even heard of, *cough* Force healing *cough*, but it’s okay because without her the galaxy would be under the rule of a ~different~ tyrannical regime.
Goths: Anakin Skywalker and Kylo Ren
For the final high school clique, we have the goths. You know them, you’ve seen them, you might even be one, and that’s okay. Among many things, the goths are known for their dark sense of fashion and aggressive attitudes towards authority. Their eyeliner is as dark as they claim their souls are, and their music taste consists of guys in too tight jeans screaming about how they “hate this town”. If two characters from Star Wars were to fit into this clique, there would be no better choice than Anakin Skywalker and Kylo Ren. Starting with Anakin, the Chosen One is perhaps the most goth Jedi to ever exist. Everything about him runs counter to how the Jedi usually run things. Anakin purposefully dresses in all black robes while the other Jedi dress in browns and tans, he has an incredibly difficult time accepting orders from those with authority over him, and he doesn’t exactly follow the Jedi’s rules on celibacy. He is so riddled with emotion that he can whine about nearly anything, including but not limited to: how his master treats him unfairly, how the Jedi Council treats him unfairly, and the various characteristics of sand. In Anakin’s defense, I would whine too if I were a goth that got sand all up in my black skinny jeans. That doesn’t sound pleasant at all.
In regards to Kylo Ren, he’s a goth that wants everyone to know that he’s a goth, and if for whatever reason he thinks that you haven’t noticed he’s a goth, he will make sure you know. Much like his grandfather, Kylo Ren dresses exclusively in black, he has long dark hair, and to tie everything together he wears an intimidating mask that serves no practical purpose other than to fit his aesthetic. He’s also got an attitude that would make an MCR album blush, as Ren throws a lightsaber-fuelled temper tantrum at every mild inconvenience. Underneath all of the shouting and angst however, Kylo Ren is just a guy with some daddy issues that wants to be understood, and at the end of the day, aren’t we all? Which Star Wars characters do you think you would hangout with in high school? Sound off in the comments below and for more news on pop culture and everything entertainment, check back here at its-bananas.com.
